For as long as I can remember I've had what some people call an "irrational fear". To use it's posh word I suffer with lepidopterophobia.
"BUT WHAT IS THAT LAUREN?!" I hear you cry.
It's a fear of.....
Butterflies.
"BUT WHAT IS THAT LAUREN?!" I hear you cry.
It's a fear of.....
Butterflies.
I know, I know. They are beautiful, majestic etc BUT they are also really scary. I don't really know what it is I am scared of. I just know I am petrified of them.
Ironically my favourite plant is a Buddleia, which attracts them, and I purposefully have a few in my garden BUT not near where I sit. So they are welcome, just as long as they don't come near me, thank you very much.
Last year the company I work for partnered with Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), a suicide prevention charity, and I was SO excited by this partnership. Immediately I wanted to do whatever I could to raise money for them.
During Mental Health Awareness Week I set up a "Blind Date with a Book" stall at the office, renaming it "Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover". I covered books in parcel paper so their cover couldn't be seen, with just a note on the front with it's genre. Colleagues then picked a book and paid a small amount for it. We ran out of books and that feeling was amazing.
I wanted to do more!
For months I wondered what I could do that was a bit different and I kept going back to the same thing. I wanted to face a fear.
Fear of heights, seemed too obvious. Fear of people dressed in costumes, didn't seem as easy to do (however, this could be next!!) and then I realised it had to be...my fear of butterflies. I doubted if it was a good idea and then one evening messaged a good friend of mine who works in charity and asked his opinion, knowing he would be honest with me. Within half an hour my Just Giving page was set up with a target of £250. Over the next couple of days I contacted a couple of zoo's to see if they had a Butterfly House only to find out they no longer did. And then eventually I saw that Whipsnade Zoo do! We're off to Woburn Safari Park in June so with it being nearby my plan was set in stone!
June 21st...Whipsnade Zoo...I'm getting in that butterfly house....and my son is going to record it.
I feared I wouldn't reach my target, I have a VERY small circle and feel awkward asking people to sponsor me but in a short amount of time, with support from some lush people at work as well as my mum, brother, son and fiance, my target was hit!
Now, I had actually set an initial target of £250, even if I only raised £10 I would still go in the butterfly house. BUT if I raised £500 I'd stay in the butterfly house until one landed on me, and if I raised £750 I would get a butterfly tattoo.
So with £250 reached my target has now gone up to £500. And I have 1 month and 1 day to hit that target. Rather than just asking for donations I want to share WHY I am raising money for CALM.
As soon as I heard we had the possibility of partnering with CALM I looked into the charity, immediately I felt this....I don't even know how to describe it....passion I guess is an easy way to say it, but it was more than that.
Soon after the partnership was official I was lucky enough to spend some time with 2 members of the CALM team at our head office and I instantly fell in love with them. Yes it may sound extreme but they're presence, their personalities, the way they talked about their passion was just beautiful.
Over the time we have partnered with them we have had opportunities to find out about the work they do and campaigns they have launched. And my goodness, the POWER of the campaigns are beautiful, emotional and really hard hitting.
Taken from the CALM website these are just three of the many campaigns that really hit my heart:
Missed Birthdays campaign
Each balloon represented a young person who took their own life, and a birthday they didn’t get to celebrate. Through the campaign we want to let people know about the tools and support we have to help people to have the conversations today that will help more young people see tomorrow.
The Last Photo
In 2022, we launched The Last Photo, a campaign and installation on Southbank showing the last photos and videos of people before they took their own lives. We wanted to challenge the misconception that suicide always looks a certain way. And the stories of the people who lost their lives and photos highlighted a clear message: suicidal doesn’t always look suicidal.
Project 84
In 2018, Project 84 forced the world to stop, think and, most importantly, act. 84 life-size statues of men on top of the ITV buildings in London highlighted the fact that 84 men die by suicide each week in the UK.
We got millions talking about suicide in homes, workplaces and even Parliament. 400,000 people signed our petition for government action on suicide, and it resulted in the government appointing the world’s first ever Minister for Suicide Prevention.
As well as the Campaigns I feel like I have really been educated through the various resources they have available as well as webinars they have hosted.
Earlier this year we had a message from the school informing us that a girl in my sons year had taken her own life. It's not something I ever thought I would have to go through with my son but thanks to the education from CALM I was prepared for the conversations I would have needed with my son. I knew how to talk to him, what to talk to him about and it made a really difficult time a bit softer.
We also sat and watched "An Inspector Calls" recently and in that they use the term "committed suicide" and I used this as a chance to educate my 14 year old son on why this isn't the correct term to use and the alternatives that should be used.
I feel like my confidence to have these conversations and to be able to pass the education down is so vital and I feel privileged that I can do that, thanks to CALM.
The work CALM do is inspiring and so incredible and if I can get to my £500 target I feel like it's the least I could do in exchange for the work they do and the education, and resources I have benefited from.
If you've made it this far, and you wish to donate any amount you can so I can reach my target, please do so via the link here.
£12.20 is enough to fund a call to their free and anonymous suicide prevention helpline.
