When it comes to sharing vulnerabilities I could be seen as being on the higher end of the spectrum. I’m an open book, unashamed of the things I choose to share, even though maybe it would and does go against me sometimes.
LinkedIn once referred to me on an end of year profile review thing as a “Vulnerability Warrior”. I absolutely loved that.
Sharing vulnerabilities, to me, shows we are human, offers support to others and to ourselves. I’ve had experience in sharing my vulnerabilities and certain things I’ve gone through in life and having people reach out for support. It can really help to make some of the tough things I go through worth it. It feels like it gives me meaning.
This week I heard this from someone on an OA call.
It is an honour to receive someone else's vulnerability
And that really hit me hard. I felt that. I've really been reflecting on that this week, everyday it's been on my mind.
We had a leader join our business recently and they opened a team call by introducing themselves and telling us about their personal life, about their child, their wife, their hobbies and I was sat on the other end of the screen wanting to cheer and shout "YES!! THANK YOU!!" because I felt like I was introduced to the human side of them. Not just the corporate, professional side.
To some it might not feel like they shared a vulnerability but I feel like it is. I don't think vulnerability is just "this is my childhood trauma", "these are the battles I face/have faced". But it can also be "let me tell you a little bit about my life".
It felt huge to me, at the same time I can understand why people don't feel the need to share information like that at work, some people go to work to just work and keep every part of their personal life to themselves.
But for me, I really like just knowing a little bit. It feels like it breaks down a wall a bit. I can see you as a human, it makes you more approachable. I feel somewhat safer with that person now because they let me (us) into a part of their life. I feel like I have more respect from them, however, it hasn't adjusted any boundaries in terms of me know feeling like I can ask them anything and everything. But I do feel safer in that if we were having a conversation that I can comfortably talk about my personal life without them being like "I don't want or need to know this. Tell me more about reports you are working on".
I'd already met this person in real life and had shared a bit about me and did have a bit of anxiety of "have I said too much?" "do they really need to know that?" But now, reflecting, I know it was ok.
During a conversation with someone this week, when we were talking about Wellbeing in the workplace, they thanked me for "being a open ear for people in this company, you have really helped in more ways than you realise." It made me tear up a bit and get goosebumps. Because this kind of thing feels natural to me and sometimes don't realise the good it can do for others.
My reply to that was from the heart "That's all I wanted my legacy to be really. For people to be able to be vulnerable and not be scared to bring that to work, or at least have someone who is their safe space to be vulnerable with".
My view is, and always has been, that I spend the majority of my days and weeks at work. I don't want to close off and feel like "right, for these hours I have to be this closed off person who can't talk about or share anything". That I can only be myself the minute I wake up to the time I open my laptop, then again when I close my laptop and go to sleep.
I spent my days at school feeling like I had to wear a whole load of masks and could never be myself. In fact I feel like I was never able to really appreciate being unapologetically me and to be myself 24/7 until I turned 30.
To be ourselves at work and not have to switch off who we are it does involve being a little bit vulnerable.
We need to be able to feel like if we're struggling we have someone to go to to share those struggles, to be vulnerable with. Whether or not that struggle is due to something in the workplace or something in our personal lives that may overlap into our work life, because lets face it that does happen. Something can happen at home, with our children, financially, medically, mentally that will affect how we show up, whether we like it or not.
Being vulnerable can lighten that load.
I 100% don't think that everyone needs to share their vulnerabilities on an extreme level, but just a little bit can help so much. Not only to make others feel safe, but ourselves too.
One thing I will never change about myself is being a Vulnerability Warrior. It's one of my greatest super powers.
