We were also really excited to be able to spend a whole week with my mum too.
We had a busy week planned with days out but then also with some time at the bungalow my nan and aunty had booked for the week. It had a beautiful view of the beach and sea as well as a big lawned area surrounding it which was perfect for the boys to play on and for us to sit and relax whilst my nanny had her afternoon nap.
Our days out were filled with visiting new places, and visiting places we haven't been to for a couple of years. Two of the days were spent in Great Yarmouth, as was the Sunday night as we went to watch the Stock Car Racing. Oh I love it! The smell, the sounds, the excitement. I did get a bit over the top squealy as the cars rammed into each other and crashed on the corner we were standing. It's expensive at £15 per adult but worth it for a fun night out.
Before we went to the Stock Car Racing (yep, I'm apparently writing about my week backwards for some reason) the boys went to their grandads and I went for a girls meal with my mum, my aunty and my nanny. It was so lovely to be Lauren and to not be in mum mode. I wanted my nanny to see me as me and not as a stressy anxious mum wanting the boys to behave. It was lovely to be able to relax and enjoy each others company.
It's funny how your relationship with family members can change as you get older. I don't get to see my nanny that often with us living so far away, and it breaks my heart as I love her dearly, and although we are not OTT soppy I feel really close to her, and my aunties, despite the distance. I've always felt like we had a good relationship, like she respects me and appreciates me as much as I respect and appreciate her. So being sat with her, being able to have adult conversations, and joking about silly things was amazing.
I found myself just sitting and watching her at times and it made me feel so content. We went round to my mums house on the Friday and my nan was round there and it was the best, warmest feeling to see her sat in the dining room, talking to me in the kitchen, and then sitting in what is usually my seat. When I went back to my mums on the Friday evening, after we had enjoyed a lovely time at the bungalow and said our goodbyes, I burst into tears....again after we had been crying in the car. The image of my nanny sat there was still fresh in my head and it hit me that it's not something that I see as much as I want to. But it also made me feel overwhelmed with happiness that she all of a sudden became part of our everyday life. We're not sure she will be able to visit here again as it's such a long and uncomfortable journey so those images will always stay fresh in my mind.
My nanny made such an effort with the boys and I can't even bring to words how much I appreciated that. I do get very paranoid about their behaviour, even though I shouldn't because they are not that bad but I want to protect them, and me, from people judging us. I was so desperate for her to see that they are good, lovely boys and to see me as a good mum.
As we said goodbye and I tried my hardest not to cry and had to keep telling myself to let her go as my arms seemed to freeze, she said in my ear "They are two lovely boys you have there" and I broke down.
She knew the words I wanted and needed to hear.
It was quite possibly the best week of my year and although it was sad saying goodbye, so so sad and hard, we had comfort in knowing that in just 9 months time we will be visiting them. It's a roadtrip for me, my mum and the boys, staying in a beautiful barn in Somerset.
The most exciting thing is that Harry will be meeting my other Aunty, and my Uncle, for the first time which will be super super emotional but I can not wait!
I'm counting down the days already.
