He stole a part of my heart that I didn't even know was there for the taking. I thought another boy had all of it, and that it wasn't big enough for another to come along and have a piece too.
I adore this boy. Everything about him. Just thinking of him makes me go a little silly and gives me butterflies.
But part of me feels sad. Sad for this boy. Sad because the first few months he was in my life are now a blur. Everything felt so crazy and there was so much going on. Although he completed our family and was able to slot in perfectly, I had this feeling the whole time that he wasn't meant to be.
I still get that feeling, like he's going to be taken away from me.
I can't do anything to bring those days back. If I could I would. I would embrace them and soak them in.
I would do a better job.
Sometimes I feel sad for this boy because I compare him a lot to his older brother.
I know it's a natural thing to do but he's his own person, and I shouldn't do it.
I constantly worry about his speech. He says a few things, but his brother was saying a lot more when he was his age.
I blame myself for that, because I forget I need to teach him, and I don't have as much time as I did with his brother.
Yet this boy has the best ROAR you've ever heard. And says "tickle tickle" in the cutest way.
He's happy, he smiles a lot (although he also has one of the loudest screams ever) and is very sociable.
He is also the best dancer I have ever seen. He will dance to anything, even the sound of the sewing machine. He has the most fantastic rhythm and knows how to move every part of his body.
At the same time, he's a real mummies boy and would happily spend all day using me as a dummy and a drink if he could.
There's this boy who makes me so happy just by looking at me. Just by giving me a simple cuddle sometimes whilst he's in the middle of playing tells me he loves me and that he still needs me, and hasn't forgotten about me.
Sometimes he looks at me, or does something which makes him sound or look identical to his brother and I just melt. I realise how lucky I am to have these two people in my life.
Two the same, yet two so different.
There's this boy who has made my biggest boy so happy. He screams in delight and excitement when we collect his bigger brother from preschool. They sometimes cuddle and end up in a heap on the preschool floor, laughing.
He searches for his brother as soon as he wakes up in the morning.
They are best friends, and make each other so happy.
There's this boy who I don't talk about enough, and I don't create special time for. But I will change that.
I'm making a promise to this boy that I will change and make and effort to do proper things in the afternoon. Like swimming, walks and dare I say it, go to the park.
There's this boy who means the world to me. And although this may come across like he is my favourite, he isn't, I love both of my boys equally, but I feel I have a lot of making up to do.
There's this boy.
Called Harry.
And he is amazing.
